IVF can bring incredible hope—but also an overwhelming amount of stress and uncertainty. In this blog, we share practical ways to manage the mental load of IVF, backed by research and real-life experiences
Going through IVF is not for the faint-hearted. It’s hard—emotionally, physically, and mentally. The never-ending appointments, hormone injections, and constant self-doubt—Am I eating the right foods? Am I exercising too much / enough? What products should I avoid?—can leave you spinning.
And don’t even get us started on the agonizing two-week wait and all the symptom spotting we try not to do but fail miserably. All of this while balancing work and personal life? It’s completely overwhelming.
Managing stress during IVF isn’t just about feeling better emotionally—it can actually play a part in the outcome of your treatment. Research suggests that chronic stress not only affects sleep, but may also impact hormone balance, egg quality, and even embryo implantation.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Below, we’re sharing some of the tools and techniques that helped us feel more in control during our own IVF journeys, along with insights from research and other IVF warriors we’ve learned from along the way.
Reduce Stress by Understanding the IVF Timeline
A lot of the anxiety we felt at the beginning of IVF came from simply not knowing what was coming next. What meds would we need? How long would we have to wait between appointments? What happens if this round doesn’t work?
Knowing what to expect can help ease a lot of that “unknown” stress. We found it helpful to map out the steps ahead so we didn’t feel so anxious or rushed when decisions had to be made.
If you’re just beginning your IVF journey, our example timeline can help you understand what to expect and prepare for each step ahead.
[Download your free IVF Timeline here]
Why Stress Relief is So Important During IVF
IVF means learning to inject yourself (a lot!), juggling scans and appointments, and remembering to take your medication and supplements on time every day. Your body takes a hit—but the emotional toll is just as intense.
IVF is full of unknowns—and sometimes things don’t go as planned. You might not respond well to meds, get fewer eggs than expected, or have embryos that don’t make it to transfer. These setbacks can feel like punch after punch when you’ve already given everything emotionally and physically.
It’s okay to grieve each part that doesn’t go as you hoped. Acknowledging that loss is part of taking care of your mental health through the process.
How Stress Can Impact IVF
Without taking time to manage stress, you can quickly start to feel anxious and overwhelmed, making an already challenging process even harder. We went from cycle to cycle without giving ourselves space to process anything. Every failed attempt just got pushed down a little further, and it wasn’t until everything finally hit us – that overwhelming sense of losing control – that we realised the real impact stress was having on our bodies and fertility. This is what we learned along the way:
- Hormonal Imbalance – If you experience chronic stress, this can raise cortisol levels, which can disrupt reproductive hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and luteinizing hormone—impacting ovulation and embryo implantation.
- Reduced Blood Flow to Reproductive Organs – Stress can constrict your blood vessels, limiting oxygen-rich blood flow to the uterus and ovaries, which may affect your egg quality and endometrial receptivity.
- Disrupted Sleep Patterns – If you experience stress-related insomnia or poor sleep, this can affect your hormone regulation and overall body function, potentially influencing your egg development and cycle timing.
- Inflammation and Immune Dysregulation – High stress levels can increase inflammation and affect your immune responses, which may interfere with implantation or early embryo development.
- Poor Lifestyle Habits Triggered by Stress – High stress levels can lead to emotional eating or you may skip meals, reduce your physical activity or increase your alcohol or caffeine intake—all of which can affect fertility.
- Emotional Exhaustion and Burnout – If you struggle with ongoing emotional stress, this can make it harder for you to continue treatment, reduce your resilience to setbacks, and in some cases increase the risk of depression or anxiety.
- Relationship Strain – Stress can affect communication, intimacy, and emotional support between partners, which are important for navigating IVF together.
- Reduced IVF Adherence – If you feel overwhelmed, you may forget or delay medications, struggle to attend appointments, or have trouble following protocols accurately.
The good news is there are ways to help manage stress and reduce anxiety while navigating through your IVF journey.
How To Stay Calm During IVF—Practical Ways to Relieve Stress
1. Move Your Body (Gently!)
Exercise is one of the best natural stress relievers, but during IVF it’s important to be mindful of what your body can handle.
- Low-impact activities like walking, yoga, or swimming are mostly recommended and can help relieve tension.
- Avoid high-intensity workouts, especially during ovarian stimulation and after egg retrieval when your ovaries are enlarged.
- Even just a 10-minute walk outside can help clear your mind and ease anxiety.
2. Don’t Forget the Power of Nutrition
Stress often leads us to reach for comfort food (hello biscuits), but what you eat can genuinely impact your energy, mood, and even hormone balance.
- Focus on balanced meals with protein, healthy fats, and fiber.
- Limit caffeine and sugar to help avoid energy crashes and anxiety spikes.
If you’re not sure which foods support your body best during IVF—or which ones might be worth avoiding—our blog “The IVF Diet: What to Eat (and What to Avoid) for Fertility Support” breaks it all down clearly.
[Read it here]
3. Prioritize Sleep
Lack of sleep can increase stress levels and disrupt hormone regulation, making it even harder to cope with IVF anxiety. Here are some ways that can be helpful to improve your sleep:
- Create a bedtime routine – Avoid screens an hour before bed, use dim lighting, and try a calming tea.
- Use IVF stress relieving and relaxation techniques – Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or listening to soothing music can help to reduce the “noise” in your head.
- Try a weighted blanket – Many people find that it helps reduce anxiety and improve sleep quality. We didn’t actually try this one so let us know if you find it helps – we love hearing what works for others!
4. Journaling your thoughts for Emotional Release
Writing can be an incredibly powerful tool for managing emotions during IVF. Here’s a few things you can try:
- Brain-dump journaling – Write down your worries or “to-do lists” to get them out of your head.
- Gratitude lists – Listing three things you’re grateful for daily can help shift your mindset and remind you of some of the more positive things in your life.
- Tracking emotions – Noticing patterns in how you feel throughout your IVF cycle can be a helpful insight into what helps or worsens your stress.
5. Acupuncture for Relaxation
Many people going through IVF find acupuncture helpful for reducing stress, improving blood flow, and supporting hormone balance. While research is mixed, some studies suggest it may enhance IVF outcomes—or at the very least, offer a calming and restorative experience. It’s not for everyone, but we both tried it and genuinely felt more relaxed after our sessions.
Curious about how acupuncture might support your IVF journey? Read our full blog: Can Acupuncture Improve IVF Success? [Read it here]
6. Set Boundaries & Limit IVF Talk
It’s easy to let IVF take over every conversation, but sometimes it’s good to take a break from it and focus on something else for a while
Set boundaries with well-meaning family and friends if constant questions add stress and plan some IVF-free days where you focus on something completely unrelated. Meet with your friends, go for a spa day, plan a date night with your other half. IVF can be all consuming so give yourself permission to take a break from it.
7. IVF Emotional Support—Connect with Others Who Understand
IVF can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. We know how important it is to find support and be able to connect. You could consider:
- Joining an online support group or fertility community can help you connect with others who truly understand what you’re going through, offering comfort, shared experiences, and emotional support.
- Finding people who “get it” can make a huge difference in feeling supported, less alone, and more understood throughout your fertility journey.
- If you feel comfortable, consider letting your employer know that you’re undergoing IVF. We found it a relief to have their support, especially when needing time off for appointments and treatments, which can often be last-minute and difficult to schedule around work.
- Don’t Forget Your Partner—IVF is hard on both people in the relationship—not just the one injecting hormones or attending every scan. Many partners feel helpless, unsure how to support, or even guilty that they’re not doing enough. Open conversations, shared decision-making, and validating each other’s experiences can help you stay connected during a very emotionally loaded time.
8. Navigating Donor Conception—Coping with the Emotions and Easing the Stress
For some undergoing IVF, donor eggs or sperm may be necessary. Whether you’ve known from the start or you’re arriving at this decision after multiple failed cycles, it can bring up a deep emotional response. It’s not just a medical decision—it’s a personal one that may come with grief, fear, and a sense of loss.
You might find yourself mourning the genetic connection you always imagined having. That doesn’t make you ungrateful or weak—it makes you human. These feelings are valid, and it’s okay to take time to process them.
The emotional weight of donor conception can add another layer to an already stressful IVF journey. Seeking support from others who have walked this path, or talking to a fertility counsellor, can help you feel seen, supported, and more at peace with whatever path your journey takes.
Consider Professional Mental Health Support
While self-care and community support are incredibly important, sometimes the stress of IVF becomes too much to manage on your own—and that’s okay.
If you’re feeling constantly overwhelmed, anxious, or down, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Talking therapies, fertility counsellors, or even support through your GP can really help to process and ease the stress and anxiety that can come from navigating IVF.
You’re not alone, and there’s absolutely no shame in seeking help that’s just for you.
Choosing the Right Clinic—And Managing the Financial Stress
Another big source of stress during IVF can be simply deciding where to have treatment. It’s a huge decision—and one that can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re comparing success rates, protocols, waiting lists, and costs across multiple clinics.
And then there’s the financial side. IVF is rarely just one set fee. On top of your treatment package, you might be looking at medications, blood tests, immune testing, or embryo freezing fees. If you’re considering going abroad, flights, hotels, and local transport quickly add to the bill. The emotional pressure of trying to make the “right” choice is often made worse by the financial strain.
That’s why it’s so important to factor in both emotional and financial considerations when researching your options. Taking time to understand what’s included (and what isn’t) can give you a clearer picture—and more peace of mind.
We’ve created a free clinic comparison checklist and budget planning sheet to help you weigh up your options calmly and confidently.
[Download them here ]
Final Thoughts
IVF can be one of the most stressful things a woman or couple can go through. In fact, a study published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology found that infertile women exhibited global symptom scores equivalent to those of patients with cancer, cardiac rehabilitation, and hypertension.
Coping with infertility stress and managing anxiety isn’t just about improving your chances of success—it’s also essential for protecting your mental and emotional wellbeing. It can help you feel more in control, more emotionally balanced, and better equipped to handle the ups and downs.
No matter where you are in your IVF journey, remember to be kind to yourself. Take things one day at a time, find what helps you feel calm, and don’t be afraid to lean on your support system.
Research Resources
The research and information shared in this blog is supported by trusted health authorities—including the NHS, Endometriosis UK, and the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE)—as well as the following peer-reviewed studies and scientific research. If you’d like to learn more or explore the details, feel free to check out the sources below.
- Domar, A. D., et al. (2011). The psychological impact of infertility: A comparison with patients with other medical conditions. Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology. Retrieved from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21999404/
- Boivin, J., et al. (2011). Guidelines for counselling in infertility: Outline version. Human Reproduction. Retrieved from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11425853/
- Zhou, Y., et al. (2021). The relationship between psychological stress and reproductive hormone levels in women undergoing IVF. Reproductive Biology and Endocrinology. Retrieved from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33957837/
- Pasch, L. A., et al. (2016). Psychological distress and in vitro fertilization outcomes: A systematic review. Fertility and Sterility. Retrieved from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26698616/
- Messerlian, C., et al. (2016). Sleep and fertility: A systematic review. Fertility and Sterility. Retrieved from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27235708/
- Mindel, S. (2020). The effect of stress on female fertility. British Journal of Nursing. Retrieved from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32478683/
- NHS. (2023). Can stress affect my ability to get pregnant? Retrieved from https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/pregnancy/can-stress-affect-my-ability-to-get-pregnant/
- HFEA (Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority). (2023). Counselling and emotional support during fertility treatment. Retrieved from https://www.hfea.gov.uk/treatments/explore-all-treatments/counselling-and-support/
- Fertility Network UK. (2023). Looking after your emotional wellbeing during IVF. Retrieved from https://fertilitynetworkuk.org/how-we-can-help/emotional-support/
- Mind UK. (2023). How to manage stress. Retrieved from https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/stress/
- ESHRE. (2022). Psychosocial care in fertility treatment. European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology. Retrieved from https://www.eshre.eu/Guidelines-and-Legal/Guidelines/Psychosocial-care-guideline
- Domar, A. D. & Kelly, A. C. (2002). Conquering Infertility: Dr. Alice Domar’s Mind/Body Guide to Enhancing Fertility and Coping with Infertility. Penguin Books.
